Let the student have their own epiphany!
As a counselor~ in my very own opinion~ the worst thing that a counselor can say to a child is, “you’ll never be able to do that”; “that‘s not for you”; or “you could never become that” etc. What a way to “bruise a precious spirit”…what a horrible way to deflate a self image. Any way, who are we to say what a person can or can not become, or be able to do? Even if we know for sure (based on current evidence i.e. grade point average; transcript information; test scores etc.) that it doesn’t appear likely that the student could accomplish or realize that goal, THIS IS NOT FOR US TO SAY!
A wise counselor (again, my opinion) would: (1) ask the question, (2) wait for the response and (3) “wow” or applaud the response. Next he or she would ask other questions that would evoke thought, and perhaps raise a need for the student to ask the counselor some questions. Then it would be wise to discuss the current 1.4 grade point average with the “future brain surgeon”, and ask further if he/she likes science and math. In most cases, at least the ones that I have encountered, the answer is always a resounding “NO”. The next course of conversation leads to the epiphany. “Do you think that you would still like to go after this wonderful aspiration seeing how this profession requires such courses?” the counselor asks. “Naw”, says the student. “I think I’d better think about something else”. “Okay then”, says the counselor, and so goes the saga.
What has happened here is a reality check has brought clarity to a potentially frustrating situation and, it happened in such a tender way, that every one has won. The student has done some much needed career reconsideration, and the counselor has helped him/her realize it all without tearing the student down. The student has had his or her own “revelation”.
Tell me what you think!
2 comments:
There are no two people that act the same or think the same. For example, just because I may think that I have a great idea, I can not say that it is the best idea. Someone else may have a better idea. Meaning, my decision must begin by listening to all of the facts presented with an open heart and open mind, ready for reception without preconceived ideas. To accomplish this I often attempt to view situations from the outside, as a way of looking in with a clearer view. This allows me the opportunity to view both the positive and negative sides of a situation.
Considering my professional life as an educator, on any given day, I talk with students about various problems or situations. Some of them present very simple problems in which I can make a rapid decision and move on with the day. However, have I assisted those students with their problems? Many of their problems do not require theoretical solutions. Some of the problems require alternatives. The alternatives require my heart and mind to work in correlation to be cognizant of the students’ personal needs and foster their current needs. As an educator I do not like to give advice. I assist students in viewing direct and alternative plans for themselves. Once they can conceptualize their plan, they are willing to remain dedicated to the plan that they have chosen.
Hi Annette,
I’ve read your posts and here again; you have made another very valid point in one of them. You are undeniably, correct in saying that we should not tell a student what they can or can not become. Yet, students are continuing to hear these types of comments being made to them on a constant basis. What really disturbs me is when these comments are coming from counselors and educators alike.
You also made the statement that there are times when from a counselors perspective and in viewing students’ certain test scores, transcripts, etc., “you many times know automatically, that it would be, unlikely for that student to be able to accomplish or realize the particular goal he/ she has in mind. Nevertheless; you being “a wise counselor in your on opinion would: (1) ask the question, (2) wait for the response and (3) “wow” or applaud the response. Next he or she would ask other questions that would evoke thought, and perhaps raise a need for the student to ask the counselor some questions.” I presume that by a student asking questions this would allow the counselor an opportunity to make known to the student that whatever; it is they are wanting to pursue; here is where they are at this point and this is what they will need in order to major a particular area of study. I imagine, if the student sees for him or herself that they have not met those requirements, this visual assessment of give them the opportunity to ask questions such as “do I have time to get my grade where it needs to be, so that, I can enter in to this or that field, and if not, is there another area that is closely, related to what I want to do and if so, is it possible for me go into this particular field and later transfer those hours over once I do get everything together.
This is the type of dialoging that counselors and teachers should be having with students. However, we will many times forget that we were once students who were seeking the same advice from our counselors. It is amazing how often we tend to forget such things. Great Post!
Rhonda
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